Tag Archive | love

You Don’t Know

Coming home and seeing a messy room, I knew that it was about time to finally clean it. After all, a fresh school year = a fresh room… Right? So, I was looking through my old documents and I came across the journal I had a few years back. Turns out, I wrote lyrics to a song I made up. This is from January 12, 2011 (just the rap, HAHA):

I know I gotta get this right off all my chest

I know by saying this, I might be a total pest

But you gotta understand

You gotta know

 

That before I sleep I will myself

To have you in my dreams

That to me being with you

Is better than sweets or creams

That I memorize the tune

Your digits make on my phone

That to me you are a savior

Just like Arc de Joan

 

You don’t know

that I write songs about you

Day after Day

Don’t know that I write texts to you

Anxious if they are okay

That your face your smile your words

refuse to exit my mind

That I find myself doodling hearts

with your  name next to mine

 

You don’t know.

And you never will.

 

Cheesy, yes? Oh, memories… 🙂

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These Hateful Hands and its Hateful Heart

These Hateful Hands and its Hateful Heart

A galaxy of thoughts

Rushing through my head

As my trembling hands

Sought what was ahead

It was always right there

So close yet so Far

That impossible motion

To change My into Our

Like two cars colliding

Our threads of fate entwined

The beautiful doves meeting

The stars had aligned

A flower unfurling

Its petals One by One

You showed me the world

Then it came all undone

You stole my shoelaces

Do you know how I felt?

You traveled farther ahead

Leaving me here to melt

I melted, I melted

From

The pressure

The heartache

The expectations

The dream once deferred

What is my life?!

The pendulum had suspended

Exiting my being

My heartbeat now broken

I find myself fleeing

Fleeing from

The trouble

The corruption

My heart’s double

You call me a coward

What else am I to do?

I stare down

At my hands

These hateful hands

The ones that held yours

The ones that sought you

The ones that gave up

The ones that knew

Knew my true heart

Knew my soul’s crying

Knew my refusal

To keep on My trying

These hateful hands

This hateful heart

My body is a puppet

Bending apart

The only ones truthful

Are my hands and its heart

My eyes refuse to stare

My legs do not budge

My mouth does not speak

My brain still holds a grudge

His leaving silhouette

His back that’s still Proud

My hands stretch out towards him

Is my racing heart allowed?

The marionette that I am

I just watch him go

The pain is so cutting

So agonizing and slow

My body convulses

As my sobs overtake me

The only truthful part of my body

Still stretching

Why do they still move?

Why have we grown apart?

These hateful hands

And its hateful heart